you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
