right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
