The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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