Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
