Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
