i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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