After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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