I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
