after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
