it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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