just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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