17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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