also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she looked like the before picture.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
