If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
