I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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