just come out here and I will go home with you...
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
