Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
