Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
