That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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