Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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