She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize