Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
