Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When are your genitals available?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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