I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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