I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
