she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
