he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
