I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
