So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
