What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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