Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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