I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
