I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
