totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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