Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
