Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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