it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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