glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
