He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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