found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
