Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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