Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Randomize
