so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
