he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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