OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
