...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
