Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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