I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Randomize
