I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
