I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
