this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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