I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
