I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
